Lily Allen has been running her mouth a lot lately about how her latest material is not up to scratch and that her record label has prevented her from releasing the real stuff. After the polite Air Balloon and the party-anthem Our Time, it was looking unlikely that Lily’s quick wit and spite was ever going to make a reappearance. Thankfully, the title track to her forthcoming album, Sheezus, dispels that fear. The song is littered with Allen gold, but we’ve fished for five of the best nugs.
“RiRi isn’t scared of Katy Perry’s roaring”
Lily’s astute observations of the celebrity world are insightful, but is anyone scared of Katy Perry’s roaring? Isn’t it more like a cat’s meow? Badgal RiRi once proclaimed that she was “yeah, yeah, yeah, so hard” so surely she’d be even geared up to take on Perry’s new beau Diplo.
“Lorde smells blood, yeah she’s about to slay you. Kid ain’t one to fuck with when she’s only on her debut”
Out of all the divas mentioned on Sheezus, it looks as if Lily wants to recruit Lorde as her 2IC. She’s obviously impressed by her post-goth look and badass teen vibe, but we’re not sure Lorde would be too keen to be associated with the ‘queen’ given her sentiments in a little ditty called Royals.
“Queen B’s gone back to the drawing Lorde”
Lol. She replaced board with Lorde. Great use of poetic license. But seriously, don’t mess with B. One minute, you’re sitting comfortably on the throne and the next Yonce drops a surprise the size of an atomic bomb.
“Give me the crown bitch, I wanna be Sheezus”
Kim Kardashian may have something to say about this but we think Mr and Mrs Yeezus would make a great couple. Both have skipped any sort of media training and run their mouths as much as, well, Jesus. The only problem is, Kanye has his sights set on being a God, while Lily wants to be a queen. Surely at 88 years of age, Queen Lizzy would be an easy one to knock from the throne.
“Periods, we all get periods. Every month, that’s what the theory is”
This is more than I could’ve ever learnt in sex ed. Thanks Lily. Got it.