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Breakdown of Pitchfork’s 100 Best Albums of the Decade so far: An Infographic

So here’s the thing, people like lists. As in, people really like lists. People love lists. Chained to our computer for up to 8 hours a day, it’s almost inevitable some portion of that day, for which I may just remind you, you are demanding a salary for, will be spent scrolling, zombie-mode on, through list upon list upon list, quantifying and categorising everything from the day’s cutest cat imagery to American states ranked according to the size of their zucchini produce.

If nothing else, in a reality where Buzzfeed is not the savior but the surrender, we all indulge in a little list loving come three thirty; a difficult stage of the day for all nine to fivers, where eyes simply glaze over, and we begin to run our callous-tipped index finger down a silken mouse pad as if it were a lover withholding that final shiver. Come three thirty, we abandon responsibility and deadline in favour of scrolling like daft sloths through a list, well listing,15 Mezmerising GIFs That Will Distract You From Reality, or 10 Cronuts You Simply Must Try Before You Die…. at which point death is likely to occur from over-cronut-consumption.

It’s becoming increasingly hard to deny that as our interest in lists sky-rocket, there’s a concurrent decline in well, really giving a discerning fuck or two about what information they might impart. Cueee, Clickbait.

So, in a landscape where it takes mere miracle to shake us from our list stupor, there are only a few that really manage to catch our whole, wide-eyed attention. Anything to do with Forbes’ highest earners or Victoria’s Secret models is a good place to start. A close second however is Pitchfork’s recently released The 100 Best Albums of the Decade so Far. Offering up a trip down memory lane for the musically-inclined and a springboard for debate surrounding exclusions and oversights, Pitchfork’s king of lists is filled with nuanced commentary to testify for each album’s inclusion from a range of witty-come-cynical contributors.

Spanning 5 pages and 100 album titles however we understand it may appear an overwhelming charge for the less seasoned listers tackle so, in order to ensure that everyone has equal opportunity to feign music credibility for the next couple of days, we’ve done the dirty work for you and created an all informative info-graph. Cliff notes Ahoy!

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Splendour in the Grass – Fashion Checklist – Male Edition

Ladies aren’t the only ones to get involved with trends on the field. Men also take the chance to trade in their beanies and board shorts for some more outlandish fair. Donning brightly coloured tie-dye shirts and animal onesies for the weekend, it seems some fall victim to the infinite world of fashion choice.

Click here to download the PDF of your very own Festival Paper Doll to cut and fold into your favourite fashion attire and scroll below for detailed descriptions.

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1) Beard

Where to begin with the old facial hair? As far as festival life savers go, this is a king amongst men. A place to store food for ‘ron, a way of keeping half of your face both warm AND sunburn free, a way of affectionately tickling the neck of ladies one might court mid mosh…the possibilities of this festival fashion are endless. I’ve even heard, when matted, they become a suitable substitute for flotation devices. Gentlemen, shavers down.

2) Plaid Shirt

It’s a little known fact that within all young men exists a lumberjack just yearning to bust out of that polyester Politix suit and chop some shit down. While splendour is not the place to be wielding about an axe or chainsaw, it is a place surrounded with many a tree that often threaten to over excite one’s inner lumberjack. A plaid shirt is thus the safe, festival appropriate compromise between Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Wolf of Wall Street.

 

3) Bucket Hat

You know that beardless part of your face susceptible to burn, cold and well… not as adequate at storing food as the bearded part? A bucket hat resolves all these issues. Throw a hamburger under it and you’re good to go! When you’re done with it, please return to Jim’s mowing ASAP, if not before.

4) Slogan T-shirt

At best, men are, well, men of few words. With all the loud noises, pretty shiny things and lost participants of The Denim Diaper convention wandering about, those men of few words, often become men of no words. Slogan T-shirts are a way of demonstrating that, despite your current inebriated, thoroughly distracted state, you remain a literary-mind man, partial to conversations regarding inspecting female bodies and who is indeed with stupid.

5) Coloured Plastic/Reflective Wayfarers

While the nights are cold and dark, the Splendour sunshine is often harsh, so you’re going to need some shades. Remember, you’re not on Phuket Beach where this blinding, fluoro eyewear would cost less than 100 Baht. You’re in Byron, where fluoro colours are a thing of hallucinogenic dreams not needed in broad daylight. Just like rainbow roads and real love.

6) Tie-Dye T-shirt

A tie-dye shirt is the perfect way to show you’ve made the transition from big-city corporate into joining Byron’s great search for Lucy In The Sky Diamonds. However, beware. You’re about 50 years too late and Woodstock’s hippy fantasy has been deluded by phone-charging lockers and VIP toilets. Also, if people are looking up for Lucy, how will they see your questionable swirl of primary colours?

7) Animal Onesie

Look, sometimes we forget who we are. We forget our values, our morals, our dreams, our desires. Most Saturday nights I forget my address, my phone number and the fact that a wallet is worth holding onto. Some, however, take it one step further and forget what species they are. Like the urban myth of that boy who took too much acid one day and henceforth greeted the day as a sunflower (admit it, you’ve heard it too), some come to Splendour and mentally check out. They toss in the human world and become cows, dinosaurs and chickens out to frolic in the fields for 3 days straight. These people will be wearing animal onesies… Come to think of it, maybe they mentally checked out before Splendour.

 

 

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Splendour in the Grass – Fashion Checklist – Female Edition

You’d be a fool to think a music festival like Splendour is all about the music. At best, music and seeing those bands you’ve handed over the dollars for make up about 50% of one’s festival experience. The rest of our happy pie chart is made of up of times spent waiting in long shower and toilet lines, pre-gaming, post-gaming, pitching and re-pitching tents, getting lost in the Teepee Forest, sitting for long, nonsensical hours at the Grill’d truck and, of course, deciding what festival trend you’re going to adopt over the weekend. While we can’t help you out with your collapsed tent or contrived, unique ways to sneak alcohol into the camping grounds, when it comes to fashion, we’ve got your back.

Click here to download the PDF of your very own Festival Paper Doll to cut and fold into your favourite fashion attire and scroll below for detailed descriptions. Try before you buy baby, try before you buy.

Download printable PDF here.

1) Short, Short Denim Shorts

Some people mistake Splendour in the Grass music festival for the Denim Diaper Convention that runs at the same time of year around Byron. Should you see any confused souls with denim so tightly wedged up their ass that it’s not longer covering their peachy-keen bum cheeks, kindly point them in the right direction. It’s up, through those trees and deep into the forest. Very deep.

2) Henna Tattoos

Like tattoos. But fake. So really, like designer mud. Like muddy designer stains on your hands to match the designer gumboots on your feet. Yippee.

3) Flower Garland

See our Coachella paper doll and then throw your floral monstrosity in the bin.

4) Bindis

Because apparently one set of eyebrows isn’t enough these days. We’ve become greedy and now want a second set of glittery blue and gold dotted eyebrows a la Gwen Stefani in her No Doubt days, to compliment our own home-grown set.

5) Oversized Parka Jacket

Usually army green, you can find these at your local General Pants store masquerading as “recycled vintage” for triple the price. Mmmm bargain. They do have a distinct advantage of many pockets, however. Fill yours with hand sanitiser, toilet paper, ponchos, gum, and an emergency whistle. You know, for emergencies like finding yourself in the Teepee Forest alone.

 6) Hunter Boots

Hunter Gumboots say “I’m rough, I’m tough and ready to get muddy. But I also own a house at Palm Beach, play polo on the weekend and really don’t want to ruin my caviar pedicure.” If you are dishing out $100 plus for a pair of these wellies thinking you’ll immediately sprout legs as enviable as Sienna Miller or Kate Moss circa every Glastonbury for the past decade, go find a lost friend sporting reflective sunglasses and take a long hard look at your greeny self. You may want to seriously reconsider your priorities.

7) Reflector Sunglasses

These are sure-fire friend winners. When you’ve lost all your friends (as is inevitably going to happen at least once over the weekend), don a pair of these and watch, like moths to a flame, as girls flock to you to ensure their bindi eyebrows are still stuck on tight and their flower garlands blooming.

8) Poncho

Splendour times are divided into two types of times: pre-poncho and post-poncho. Pre-poncho is a happy, mystical place where superfluous accoutrement reign supreme and you have clearly defined limbs.

Post-poncho, an equally, if not more important time, occurs about 8pm when the sun descends and all of a sudden hell freezes over. Bodies morph into water repellant blobs and acquire a strange swishing noise when they move. A word of warning, do not confuse the times. No one likes a poncho-less person post 8pm. Bring a couple.

9) Animal Beanie/Mittens

We get it, while flower garlands are pretty, those thorny roses don’t really send the right message when you just want to go all big ol’ bear hug on a new found friend.

Solution?

Reach into the shallow depths of your mini backpack and whip out one of these bad boys. You’ve been carting it around all day, may as well get a half-assed bear hug out of it.

10) Mini Backpack

Usually made from an ironic vinyl material with a Dora The Explorer or Barney print, these would be entirely practical, if your oversized parka jacket wasn’t so goddamn oversized and your mini backpack wasn’t so goddamn mini.

11) Hippie Bracelets

There will be moments when you’ve just had enough. Enough with noise, enough with lines, enough with people and, dear God, enough with your loved up, crusty friends who, after 3 days of a tactical shower-in-can hygiene regime, are beginning to smell.

Cue hippie bracelets. Stack these up to your elbows so, should you ever want a timeout, you can busy yourself pretending to untangle, re-tangle and colour code an abundance of Sportsgirl plastic beads.

 

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Fashion on the Field – Coachella Edition

Coachella is the festival of fame, fashion and fortune. However, many took the arid landscape as an excuse to temporarily hang up their yuppie status in order to express their inner freedoms and undying love for dear old Mother Earth. Not simply concerned with music (well that’s a lie), the(in)terns witnessed a plethora of questionable fashion choices over the three days, from Kimonos and Indian Head dresses to boot-scooting boots teamed with tropical bikinis. With little care for the accessory’s heritage, it seemed fashion was truly a cultural peace maker amongst musos this weekend.

Want to try out some desert-inspired fashion and bring out the #freespirit in you? Click the image below to download your very own Festival Paper Doll to cut and fold into your favourite fashion attire.

 

Fashion on the Field - Coachella Edition

Fashion on the Field – Coachella Edition

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